20.5.07

Sam & Susan in the Theater of the Absurd

An original play by Susan. Dedicated to Eugène Ionesco.

Backstory: With only 1.5 weeks of the summer behind us since finals, Sammers is still having a little trouble figuring out that the world will keep turning if I'm not up out of bed for good by 7 (mind you, this is after my having given them their breakfast at 5 or 6). Today he mercifully waited 'til a little after 8 to start in...

Scene: Interior, Ross Sq., 8:17 a.m., Susan is sleeping soundly on her stomach, face right, after hitting the hay at around 4:15. She has an internet hangover. Lucy stage right, sitting on corner of bed. Lucy's facial expression throughout scene should at once convey a cheerleading aspect for Sam and sympathy for Susan, as well as a healthy eagerness akin to televised boxing match enthusiasts. Sam approaches.



SAM
Mraou!
Nothing happens.

SAM
Mraou!

Nothing happens.

SAM
Mraou!... Mraou!

Nothing happens.


SAM
Mraou!... Mraou!

Nothing happens. Sam continues for 5 minutes or so, repeating same line every 20-25 seconds, but

SAM
Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!

still, nothing happens. Sam approaches Susan, "pets" her cheek 2-3 times as

SAM (louder)
Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!

Susan grimaces, in obvious discomfort, turns face the other way.

SAM
Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!

Again, nothing happens. Sam circles Susan's head, approaches newly exposed cheek, pets 2-3 more times as

SAM (louder)
Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!

Susan grimaces, turns face back.

SUSAN (sleepily perturbed)
Sammers, what the heck?

SAM
Mraou!

Susan goes back to sleep. Sam circles Susan's head and

SAM (louder)
Mraou!

again petting Susan's cheek, harder. Susan pets Sam halfheartedly, then scratches his head in earnest for a few seconds to make it count, then pushes Sam off the bed. Sam circles bed, gets on the other side.

SAM (still loud)
Mraou!

Susan stretches arm out and performs blind bed scan, finds Sam. Pushes him away. Goes back to sleep. Sam gets right next to Susan's head, pets really quite hard.

SAM (still loud)
Mraou!

Susan puts out hand, tiredly lets entire arm descend on Sam, flattening him to the bed. Sam squirms out and moves just outside of arm range.

SAM
Mraou!

Nothing happens.

SAM
Mraou!... Mraou!

Nothing happens. Susan stretches arm out and performs blind bed scan, not finding the source of the mraous. Turns up noise filter. Goes back to sleep.

SAM
Mraou!

Nothing happens.

SAM
Mraou!... Mraou!

Still, nothing happens.

SAM
Mraou!

Sam jumps down, walks to bedside stand, pulls lotion bottle off shelf. It falls with a loud THUD. Susan appears to continue sleeping.

SAM (louder)
Mraou!... Mraou!

Sam gets back on bed next to Susan's head.

SAM (seriously loud)
Mraou!

SUSAN
Sammers! What is your DEAL? You guys
already had your breakfast. It's only
8:41!

SAM (louder)
Mraou!... Mraou!

Sam goes to litterbox, digs for a few seconds. Gets out again.

SAM (louder)
Mraou!... Mraou!

Susan consequently mistakes this for the I-need-to-do-my-morning-poop-but the-litterbox-status-is-not-conducive mraou.

SUSAN (huffs disgustedly tho resignedly)
That litterbox better be exceedingly
poopy. (beat) I mean it Sammers.

Susan gets out of bed, checks litterbox. Litterbox has one pee in the corner, very neatly covered up by Lucy. Plenty of room for another visit. Susan huffs loudly again and stirs litter nonetheless. Susan goes back to bed. Sam ignores newly-stirred litterbox and gets on window catshelf above head of bed.

SAM
(increasingly loudly to counteract Susan's noisefilters)
Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!...
Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!...Mraou!...
Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!... Mraou!...
Mraou!... Mraou!...
(Sam pauses several seconds between each mraou to let Susan's twilight sleep just start to take hold again each time.)

Susan rolls over and throws covers off. Susan sits up and gets out of bed. Shoots cross look at Sam who looks back matter-of-factly.

SUSAN
You're mean.

Curtain.



♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪
I really did say that. Another case of my perhaps needing to remind myself they're just cats. (Or are they...?)

Once I was up, having put the water on and booted the computer ('cause, if I'm going to be up I'm going to play online dammit) he settled down for a much-deserved rest:
His back right leg isn't really levitating :)

6 commentaires:

Jessica a dit…

That Sammers!
I love when friends wake you up then just go back to sleep.
:)

Anonyme a dit…

Okay, missy, we are too much on the same page. I read _Victimes du devoir_ last night before going to bed. I needed a little "theater of the absurd" pick me up. Little did I know then that I could get my Ionescoesque fix today. Eugene would be proud! -Daisy

Jessica a dit…

The more i think about it - I think Sammers may just have wanted the bed to himself!

I just got a PC from you - but only half filled out and no signature and you said on it "this may get delayed in being sent since i will likely get interrupted in a moment" hahahahahhaa
made my day.
Hopefully you got a wee package today!

Laura a dit…

I had quite the similar episode with Minion today. My familiar was relentless in addressing the fact that her food bowl was empty this morning at 10:30 (which I'd imagine would be equivalent to your 5:30). Also: yes the new GM John is indeed John Hathaway who used to work at Bizilia's. He had you twice, for the record, and it's always fun discussing you at work. Hee hee

trAcy a dit…

cats!
great show.
should take it on the road.
did you go and wake him up then after the photo?

Susan a dit…

blogauthor clarification re Laura's comment - John H "had" me as a teacher - just in case someone is new to the blog and is thinking somethin' else... nyernt nyernt