Much much sadder than I expected to be about Paris, which is almost certainly not going to happen (deadline 5pm this eve - 3 apps in and no others on the horizon; we would need absolute minimum of 8 students and even then I'd be retrenching on several program components), one week extension to the deadline notwithstanding.

Part of it is feeling that it is the one part of my job that I've done really well and get as much enjoyment out of (almost) as the amount of stress and work it engenders (at least the gap is much smaller with that than with anything else - which is really saying something given the sheer amount of effort necessary for it) and yet...

Had been feeling pretty good about it the last week or so - income adjustment aside, I was happy I'd finally have a summer where I could catch my breath, happy finally to have a spring where I wasn't getting more nervous with each passing day (less each year but still...)...

But today I am completely dejected.

Maybe that was all some kind of unconscious protection mechanism - preemptive sour grapes?

Hopefully I will find a way to take this in stride. I've been feeling a lot better in general this year and especially this spring so a backslide would not be good. Not that it ever is.

2 commentaires:

Anonyme a dit…

I am sorry about Paris - but now you can come visit me in Griffin! WOOHOO!!

Susan a dit…

Not that you have any reason to believe me, but a visit would have happened either way.